Your Best Friend is YOU – Check In From Time To Time

You looking out for you is the bottom line of health and wellness. 

A doctor can tell you what to do, a nutritionist can tell you what to eat, a personal trainer can tell you how to work out and a yogi can tell you how to meditate.

But it is Ultimately up to you to adhere to what you learn, follow through with it and be consistent.

No one is going to do it for you and it can be tough at times, especially faced with the everyday pressures of life. Dealing with everyday struggles and caring for other loved ones can put you in a position to forego your own health and sanity.

This is why it is so important to stop and check in on yourself.

You’ve got to ask the questions you ask others, to yourself.

“How are you feeling?”

“Are you taking care of yourself?”

“What do you need”?

“Why don’t you take a few days to reset and regroup?”

These are the things we say to friends and family that we care about, but never to ourselves.

I’ve seen situations where one person is looking out for everyone but themselves, no one asks the person doing the providing if they are ok or do they have what they need, and the provider ends up falling to pieces.

It’s an easy thing to get swept up in, especially if you have a big heart. But you’ve got to redirect the love of that big heart you have back to yourself.

Self Love

You will only be as happy as the love you have for yourself will allow you to be. Self love is crucial for your inner peace, your dealings with others and how you govern your life.

If you don’t have self love, your health suffers. If your health suffers, it’s just a matter of time before everything start going out of balance. Self love is the oil in the engine that fuels your decisions.

Drug abuse = No Self love

No Exercise= No Self Love

Poor diet= No Self Love

Negative Self Talk=No Self Love

Self Care

Self Love leads to self care. You have to start Giving A Shit about yourself. Do you like who and what you see in the mirror? If not, change it. Do you like the life you are living? If not, change it. And self care is where you start.

Negative moments usually hit me right before I go to sleep and 30 seconds after I wake up. This happens when:

  • I wasn’t as productive as I know I could’ve been 
  • There is something I need to get done that I’ve been putting off

Those are my 2 demons that rob me, and they usually tie back to an aspect of self love and self care (skipping the gym, delaying a task).

In Conclusion…

Be a better friend to yourself. Comfort and console yourself, when needed, the same way you would comfort and console a friend in distress.

Take yourself to a movie, go on walks alone, read books on independence and peaceful solitude, pat yourself on the back, tell yourself “I love you”, write special encouraging notes and stick them around in different places.

Fill your life with self love and self care.

What are some ways you check in on yourself and do a mental inventory?

Let me know!


Consistency – A Tool For Health and Wellness

Consistency is defined as: conformity in the application of something, typically that which is necessary for the sake of logic, accuracy, or fairness.

In everyday practice and profession and life, it is doing something over and over again until it becomes unconscious action.

It’s easy to see consistency in the paradigm of sports…practice, practice and more practice until you get it.

Same thing with learning an instrument, academics, the arts, and definitely in your life of health and wellness.

But here’s, what some would consider to be the rub….

It takes consistency to develop consistency.


You actually have to be consistent in your effort to develop consistency, which is what makes it one of the most difficult traits to acquire and keep.

I know….I know…it’s some trippy shit.

This is why you need to be realistic (and patient) with yourself and go by the old adage of: One day at a time.

Every colossal structure you ever saw started with one block, one hammer, one nail, one sheet of paper to start the design. You build consistency the exact same way.

I was talking to a friend of mine earlier about being consistent and she told me that one of her biggest challenges is the fear of not following through, therefore not trying or stopping.

Does this sound like you?

I told her I could relate. I thought of times when I had failed to establish a rhythm in a habit I was trying to build (or break), which led to my discouragement and ultimately giving up, therefore taking my consistency to inconsistency.

I also shared with her the benefit of sometimes breaking down a process to little pieces, therefore making it easier to establish a rhythm.

For example…..

Think of the game of basketball. In basketball you need to practice if you have any hopes of getting good, right?

Well practice for some can be the most difficult thing to commit to. You have to show up, run, do suicide drills, run stadium steps, layup drills, free throws, run plays…..etc.

Instead of looking at practice in a daunting totality, break it up into pieces and Only focus on those pieces at a time. Separate the parts that make up the whole.

I’ll apply it to health and wellness.

Many times eating right, exercising and feeding your mind with positive principles can seem impossible to be consistent with.

But just like basketball practice, you need to take it one step at a time and after that, just focus on the very next step.

I keep a white board.

What the white board has done is help me to look at my regimens, tasks and goals in totality, and break them down into tiny pieces of actions. Actions that are achievable on a daily basis to help me build consistency with what I have to do.

So instead of looking at my day of running errands, going to the gym, meetings and writing, I can see each of these things separately so they don’t intimidate me.

Seeing the big picture, breaking the picture up into pieces and finishing one piece at a time is a system that has worked for me.

In conclusion….

There is a saying going around these days that goes: “Greatness is a process”

The process is learning, planning, implementing…..and being consistent with that process.

Try this in one aspect of your life. If drinking water is not something you like to do, start with 1 cup. It doesn’t have to be a big cup…you can start with a little plastic dixie cup, then to a bigger plastic cup, then to a glass.

From the glass, move to 2 glasses, then 3, then 4…..What you will have done is build a habit of consistency with your water intake.¬†

Repeat that process with an exercise and see what happens.

Repeat that process with an enlightening book and see what happens.

What are some methods you use to build or maintain consistency in your life?

Let me know!


Hypocrisy – A Poison To Your Health and Wellness

Don’t be that person.

That guy who says one thing and does the total opposite.

Don’t be the gal who has artificial enhancements and cries how she wants a Real man.

Don’t be the dude who would strangle someone who put regular gas in his premium fuel only car, but is quick to pull into a greasy spoon over a healthier option.

Don’t be a Hypocrite!

Webster defines Hypocrisy as: the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one’s own behavior does not conform.

Does this sound like you?

I can Definitely think of some times when this was Me to the T.

How hypocrisy can poison our health and wellness works accordingly.

Think about the times during childhood when one of your parents told you not to do something and you later saw them doing that very thing.

This is usually the first way it effects the psyche.

It leads to confusion and uncertainty. Now I’m not saying you need to call your parents and blame them for all of your flaws…that would be silly and impractical.

My point is that the disconnect between your thoughts and actions often start in your childhood.

To digress back to health and wellness, your hypocritical acts can throw you off of your center, causing an imbalance to your mind, body and spirit.

You want fried chicken, you know it’s bad for you, but you eat it anyway. Then you turn around and tell someone else how eating healthy is one of the most important things they should do.

If you have any bit of moral compass to yourself, this can start to mess with your head, especially when it’s pointed out to you.

Hypocrisy hates being exposed for what it is, because there is a lot of ego entangled at its core. Ego, according to some, represents the “false self” and not the Real you (soul, spirit).

If you take that into account you can see how your words can be different from your actions.

“I know what’s good for everyone else, it just doesn’t apply to me.”

“I know I’m not taking care of myself the way I should be, but I have the time to put correction to it.”

“If certain things aren’t going the way I would like them to go in life, I need to comfort myself with things that will give me temporary relief.”

“Do what I say, don’t do what I do.”

“I’m strong enough and have enough time to turn it around (when it’s worth it).”

Those are a few of the things that swirl around as logic to a mind that’s dominated with hypocrisy. If you add depression to that, it’s like supercharging a rocket.

A Solution? Really??

Maybe…maybe not.

But if you’re struggling with hypocrisy (and a little depression), it might call for some good old fashioned honesty.

Honesty to yourself about your situation, your thoughts and your actions.

We were not born to contradict ourselves. We came to into this life in a state of pure consciousness. Truth. Before the conditioning of the world and the ego took over.

Honesty is where to start because it gets you back to a state of practicality.

“If I keep doing this, then this will eventually happen.”

“I must not value myself, otherwise I wouldn’t do this, knowing how much it effects me negatively.”

“I honestly know better, therefore I should do better.”

Honesty is how you begin the war on hypocrisy.

Don’t let it destroy your health and wellness.

Eat right because you know you should. Rest well because you know you should. Exercise because you know you should.

Don’t save and reserve these lessons for other people when you’re not doing these things yourself.

Help YOURSELF and clear yourself from the poison of hypocrisy.

What are some of the ways that hypocrisy has sabotaged your best interest?

Let me know!


Don’t Rob Yourself Of Your Time To Build

Time is the most valuable commodity.

It’s the one commodity that you can’t get back once it’s gone. With this being the case you need to utilize the time you have and make the most of it.

How many times have you had something coming up (an assignment at school, a project at work, a trip you wanted to take, a business you wanted to start), you knew you had ample time to do it, you look up and that time is gone?

It’s a very easy thing to do. Trust me, I know.

You don’t want to have the feeling of being stuck in a horrible situation and all you have is the time to look back at the actual time you’ve wasted.

“Time waits for no man.”

-I don’t think any one person said it

But yes time, most certainly, waits for No man, woman or child.

So it’s time to get in front of the actual time you do have to plan, prepare and position yourself to make the greatest life you can.

Since this is a health and wellness site, let me tie this subject into that.


Your mastery of time starts in your mind. You must mentally grasp the crucial importance of time management and utilization.


Because a missed opportunity will affect your mind the most through regret and guilt.

Don’t do this to yourself!

When you find yourself in those times of sitting on your ass thinking about what you’re gonna do, wanna do and can do, sort it out and jump into action. Don’t wait.

How many times did you find yourself under the gun with an assignment or a project and you’re just sitting there, in panic mode, thinking about how you procrastinated your time away?

It friggin sucks, right??

Always remember that feeling!

Let it burn into your soul so you never do it to yourself again!


Your body is the next thing to suffer.


From a lack of rest, stress and self sabotage.

You can’t rest because you’re cramming…or you’re rushing to have fun (and not have fun at all)…or so stressed out that it translates itself into physical health problems.

Get proper rest and keep your body tuned and conditioned so you can handle what’s to come.


This, to me, is the most important because this is what ultimately is effected the most.

We are naturally spirits (souls) in and beyond this flesh and bone suit we’re using to have this physical experience.

When you consistently rob yourself of time and opportunity, it wears on you. For some people, so much that they never recover. You’ve seen this through the guilt, shame and regret they carry like boulders on their backs.

This is a weight on the spirit that eventually transfers to the physical realm.

Get ALL the way in front of your time so you don’t put yourself through this torture.

In Conclusion….

“Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.”

-Cameron Crowe

I go to this quote sometimes when I get down on myself. It helps put me in motion. It helps me get out of my head and back into my body to start moving towards change.

I hope it does the same for you.

You might be in a situation right now where you have a lot of time to get something completed.

You might be in a situation where you have plenty of time to take a long desired trip.

Well if you have the time and the means to do so, DON’T WAIT!

Remember, time waits for NO man, woman or child.

What are you using your time for?

How are you staying motivated to do so?

Let me know!


The Importance Of Silence

“Silence Is Golden.”

-Egyptian Proverb/Thomas Carlyle

Whoever said it first was Really on their shit!

When is the last time you just shut everything off for a day? A week? A month?

I’m admittedly one of those people who sometimes likes noise in my head to help shut off my most frightening thoughts lol.

I’m not saying it’s the most healthy thing to do, but I’m just being honest.

With that being said, I’m also one to take a day or two and shut Everything off…TV, radio, phone and computer.

Needless to say, the latter is much better.


A total reset of the mind, body and spirit is what we need at times and silence is a good place to start. I was just telling a family member the other day that a lot of times it’s the subtraction of things that makes a difference as opposed the addition of things.

What does silence subtract?


If you’re one who meditates, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you’re not, don’t worry. Just sit in silence with the intent on resetting your mind.

It’s actually more difficult to do than it sounds. Try it and get back to me.

Percolate Some Ideas

Silence is where some of your brightest and best ideas can come from.

Can you remember doing an outline for a book report in school? Remember when your mom told you to turn the television off so you could concentrate?

What happened?

As much as you hated it, the silence cleared your mind so you could focus on your paper and boom, you were writing.

The same will hold true in your adult life with work, study, planning, etc….

I know how much working in noise can help, but you’ve got to try this if you haven’t. Instead of working in Starbucks, try going to the library (yes they still exist).

If you’re reading this with the television on, turn it off now and focus lol.

Mental Detoxification

Similar to the benefits of a physical detox, a mental detox gives you a chance to do a brain dump.

A chance to drain your brain from all the negative and trivial thoughts that can sometimes swirl around your head.

Silence will give your mind a chance to stop receiving and start processing what’s already in there.

What stays? What goes? What thoughts are needed? What Ideas can be scrapped?

Connect To The Universe

Someone once posed the question

“How do you talk to God? You pray.”

“How do you let God talk to you? You meditate.”

That always stuck with me. IMO, true meditation is not the focus on asking the universe for things or favors, but letting the silence of a meditative state take you away from the noise.

Think about the times when you’ve gone to the beach, or the lake, or the dessert, or the bathroom in an empty house and just let yourself be taken away by the silence.

I feel that’s the universe connecting with you in that quiet time.


Don’t take the power of silence lightly. It can really do wonders for your mental health. And if it can do wonders for your mental health, and the body can’t sustain without the mind….

You see where I’m going with this.

Take today to start. Try starting with a minute. Yes, 1 minute of complete silence and build from there.

I want to hear from you! What are some of your favorite ways to enjoy silence?


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